TURNAROUND (from CONDITIONAL GIRL)
for sam
instantly, I don’t know why, such a cunning enemy of life, I didn’t trace it with my finger, I didn’t kiss you in the doorway of duplex in order to prove, I didn’t kiss you until my upper lip blued in order to, anything, the first time I saw it I asked almost instantly; this is not ladylike – I tried
to hold my tongue but my hands tired, tried
to hold my tongue but in order to – prove:
a word that I use often when discussing my girlishness, like it’s purely performative, when truthfully it’s greatly a biological fact:
won’t be spring won’t be tricky it’s tricky won’t be you
won’t be reciprocal. it’s not a metaphor for anything. it’s a geographical fact that I called appropriate solely because of its accuracy.
